On How Switzerland Was Probably Made
Or
Some Thoughts in the Honour of the First of August

The creator of Switzerland must have been a woman. (Or a very gay man). I came to to this conclusion on a top of a mountain I got to be this weekend. I mean, the flowers all over the place, including around traffic signs are a bit of an overkill, aren’t they? As I descended the flawless green slope with at least a half a million little stone steps I tried to keep my the eyes down on the smaragd lake and ease the pain in my knees by coming up with this story on how in my opinion Switzerland came to be.

I think she was pretty, although nothing too classy, from a good home and pretty young, too. She must have had a good taste however I would have heard a second opinion on the measures of some places. As all of us in this age, she wanted it all, a fairy tale. So she decided to start with this small piece of rough land, put small blue and green spots of water all over it to make it the most beautiful one. Quite soon, so it was indeed. However, as ever so often, it was not enough. She then painted all slopes green so precicely that the grass never grows into wild pastures but rather keeps a well-groomed carpet. I believe she must have forgotten that there are other important things in life than the perfection of her work, so she kept on making sure that the roads did not have one hole in them and that fields were tailor-made bearing crops in different colours when lining up next to each other.
In the end she must have been exhausted so she topped the last mountain and never touched another country again (this is why all the rest of us are still trying to finish up on ours).

I wonder if she got to be happy ever after.