There are three kinds of regrets in my experience: about what you should have said, what you should have done and what you should not have done.

Just before last Christmas I was shopping in London with Nurr and when we entered another clothes' boutique in Oxford Street, I saw a woman trying on an breathtakingly gorgeous white coat – it suited her perfectly and made an astonishing view. Until this very day I regret that I did not compliment her on how good she looked in it. I should have said it.

There is a gallery I pass every morning I go to work, the Dobiaschovsky's. About three weeks ago they opened an auction exhibition and one could see handsome gentlemen stepping in for a glimpse and old couples entering the house of the wealthy holding hands. Every morning for those three weeks I felt like entering this dusty and bourgeois gallery myself. I never did and when the show finally closed this Monday, the pain of regret over the lost opportunity was significantly vast. I should have done it.

I once was in love like a fool and he was determined on going out with me, too, I always said no knowing it was the right thing to do but feeling I should have said yes and when I finally did (say yes), I knew I still should not have, because due to several complicated reasons – most of them now seem ridiculous – we could not have been together and it was one whole set of regrets. What a pity that you cannot reverse regrets.

One of the most important men of wisdom in my life (next to my two brothers, my best boy friend, Mike, my ex-boyfriend and my best friend's ex-boyfriend) is definitely my father. He once told a thirteen-year old me that I should never go out with a guy out of pity because it is a cause for regret. Although at the time his words remained vague, I never really forgot this remark. I guess if I had ever acted against my father's advice I would be married with two children now. *And knowing myself – be probably thinking I should not have done that.

Now how the hell are you supposed to know in advance how you will feel after saying something, like saying yes to a guy asking you for a beer? Sometimes I regret that I know what regretting something feels, because sometimes I feel I am simply afraid of ending up having to say I should not have done it. But what if it leads to having to say I should have? So I have decided to try it out and next time someone asks me the question of whether I was doing something that evening, I would go for that beer, at least I will have said it. You cannot reverse regrets but in my experience, you can always hope for the best. I hope the next guy does not make me feel I should not have at once.


*/The what are you doing tonight-philosophy/