/What are you doing tonight?/
/Kuule, mis sa täna õhtul teed?/

Ladies, this question in Switzerland equals a marriage proposal. I have just recently come to that conclusion after long-term observations, some personal experience and having to turn down two of them over the last couple of weeks.

I herewith take the liberty to describe how I see it. At first there is the question. As a woman you then have two possibilities: either decide immediately upon a good enough reason why you are already booked (I am going out with my boyfriend is an effective one, by the way) or just say the truth which, usually does not have anything you could not get away from (even if you indeed had a date with the boyfriend, by the way). The worst part in this case is, if you are still not very sure if you wanted to completely shut this guy off or if you were actually considering giving him a chance. So in case you say you are busy you should still leave a slight twist to it that makes it possible to change your plans should it turn out the guy is good enough after all.

In order to back up my presumption let us decide we were honest this time and therefore, said “Jaah, eigentläch nüüt...” (I have no plans, so you can ask me out)
Then the poor man has to come up with something which would not really declear the first date however could later still be defined as The Night It All Started. So, in 99% of the cases he says: “Jaah, wosch eis ga zie?” (Let's get a beer somewhere in a crowded restaurant full of smoke).

So after you have spent the evening sitting on uncomfortable chairs and answering all the hundred and one questions he has got, its time to pay and go. No, he does not usually help you with the coat but if he might take care of your drink.

After a couple of days he sends you an sms trying to look as innocent as possible, it usually says something like “Ich wünsche dir noch einen schönen Tag” (I am about to ask you out again). Sad version of what happens now is if you had lost all your interest and have no idea how to solve the case without breaking the man's heart but otherwise, you could start keeping a gift-list.

Some time after a half a year you will be introduced to the parents and after about 20 months taken to Grandmum's birthday party. The rest is predictable.

I have started calling these relationships Twenty-Years-Together-And-Then-We-Get-Married. And, mark my words, the wedding preparation takes another year or two.

I guess the reason why I am awfully busy every evening is that I would like getting married take place a bit more naturally – on a dance floor or an occasional get-together of a friend of a friend. I dislike questions whatsoever and even more I prefer not to answer them. I mean, why on earth do you need to ask each other how your last weekend was and what you have planned for the next. There is also no need to know about all the holidays you have spent in the South of France.

I sometimes wish you could say things that are in the brakets out loud. This way you might get your questions answered before you even had to ask them and still have a lot of them left to be asked even after you have been married. And this way, I might even change my mind about already having plans for tonight.